another ... rant :)

So, the week has been better. Desmund is a little more calm, and he is a perfect ANGEL when we have company. LOL! He is just really clingy and SUCH a mama's boy. Not that it's a horrible thing, but it makes doing anything really difficult. He is "caged" into the living room and gets mad when I leave. If I am on the couch and he is playing, he is fine. He's a funny kid. He has been sleeping better, but he is still sleeping with me for most of the night. When he sleeps it is fine, but he wakes up and cries randomly for no reason (that I KNOW of) and I never know what to do to soothe him. So sometimes I just put him down and let him cry so that he's ok when I pick him back up. I am still frustrated with him not sleeping, but I am dealing with it. We nap during the day (some days longer or better than others...) He is still not really eating much besides bottles, and I am not sure what to do about that, except keep trying and try new things...He loves to just pick off of whatever Cam or I am eating. But things are better. I was just having a bit of a rough time when I wrote the last post.

So Cam and I have talked about me doing couponing as my part time job. Since I am not making any money, really, I can at least stretch what we have. It is pretty overwhelming. Cam's cousin does it, and a friend of mine does it as well. She even has an ENTIRE blog about it...

http://economicallyawaremomma.blogspot.com

Check it out if you're interested. She is AMAZING and has lots of good tips on saving and cheap gift ideas, etc. I decided I need to start shopping at Dollar Stores more often too! I used to all the time, and had stopped since moving back to Idaho. I have no clue why, but they usually have some great stuff! Plus, in her blog she says to do Christmas and gift shopping year round and stock up on generic gift stuff when it's on sale :) So I am gonna start doing that as well. Anyway, I am stoked about it, but overwhelmed. So I am gonna just do a little at a time and build myself up to it. So that should be fun. We will see how it goes!

So I was thinking about my new years resolutions the other day. I don't even remember the enormous list of things lol...but I KNOW I have not completed my weight loss one. UGH! Not even a dent in it :/ I get so motivated for a while, then putt out. I can't remember if I put cleaning and keeping my house clean, but I FINALLY got to this point. FOr the most part, my house is pretty clean and organized, I have donated quite a bit of stuff to Thrift Stores. I still need to go through our shed of random stuff, but I don't want to just yet. Plus it's so rainy here lately lol...But having a clean house is GREAT! and I feel I am a pretty good house wife and mom...I have been trying to read every day, but I didn't realize how hard it was with a baby. Esp when he won't just cuddle with me and let me read. He likes me to read his books to him, til he gets bored and wants to eat the books haha...I have been trying to read to him more regularly, but he's just so GO GO GO right now it's hard to sit and have still, quiet time. He's so funny. (right now he is torturing the dogs lol..they put up with him, but get annoyed with him and he just took the blanket off them ha!) Anyway, I don't remember what else I put. and for now, anything about working and building clientele is obsolete because I am not working and am not sure when I will return to work...

I know my last blog was about how hard being a stay at home mom is, but honestly, I am blessed to be able to stay home with him. I don't HAVE to work. I have an amazing husband who is willing and honored to bring home the bacon lol so that our son doesn't have to spend half of his day with someone else. Besides, me working would end up JUST paying for daycare. Once he is old enough to do like a headstart program or some kind of daycare/preschool type thing, I would love to put him into something like that just to have his social skills start working early. Interacting with other children and being ok to be away from mommy and daddy for a few hours a few days a week. Then mom can have a break, get a job, or whatever.

Anyway, I have an amazing family, I love my boys so much. I truly am blessed and loved and I am happy. I have a great life. I have had to go through a lot to get where I am now and to be TRULY happy ... I remember thinking, "so this is what it's REALLY like" after thinking I WAS happy. And I don't need anyone telling me that in order to be truly happy that I need to go back to church, repent for what I have done. That's between me and God. I still talk to him, tho it is different than how I was "shown" growing up. I still believe in him and thank him almost every day for what I have. So those people that think I am a bad person, that I should do things differently, that I can't be happy without that, and who have stopped talking to me or "disowned" me because of my past, well I don't need you in my life. Say what you want to behind my back, but in the end, it's God who judges us, and you need to worry about yourself and what you have done in your lives. And you know who you are.

Wow, I DID NOT mean for that to get all religious. But it just came out lol And I am happy I said it. I think I have been thinking it for a while. esp after my wedding and how some certain people acted...most of you family members. And I still love you, but don't worry about me. I am doing great! :D