Just some thoughts.

So I had a really hard time adjusting to life in Idaho falls. I really didn't want to move here. I was working a lot in Boise and had some good friends. I didn't want to leave. We had our home there. Desmund was born there. I hated Idaho falls. Really just this side of the state. Cameron and I had grown apart. But we moved. Cameron was consumed with OPENING a new business and I was consumed in my own self pity. I had been having issues in Boise before we moved with depression. But I didn't know that's what it was for sure. I was busy enough that I didn't let it get to me so much. But then we moved and all I had was time to think. And wallow. Then came the full blown depression. I started seeing a counselor. Got on meds to even out my moods. But I wasn't happy. I made some stupid choices. I wasn't me. I pushed Cameron away. I didn't spend quality time with des. It was all I could do to basic house cleaning and get myself to work. Along with feed and bathe des and myself. Most of that year was a haze. My mind was foggy. I hurt a lot of people including myself. The counseling helped. Except that I wasn't being completely honest. And I honestly couldn't even explain to myself what was going on. Things with Cameron and I blew up. I moved out 2 different times. I was a mess. I was lost. But in all this, I made some freaking amazing friend's. I rekindled friendships with old friends. I have my family around. And most importantly I have my own little family. Cameron who never gave up on me and now supports me jumping into being my own boss. I make next to nothing and he doesn't complain.  Plus we have an amazing child who I learn from every day. He tells the best stories. I was lost. And my family found me. They make me a better person. I would be so lost without them. They're my everything and I can't believe that person I was months ago was willing to give them up. I'm not that person anymore. I still have to live with my past. But I'm moving forward. Learning from my mistakes. Falling more in love with my husband every day. Spending quality time with my SOn and husband as much as possible. Life is good. I'm so happy. I can now say that I love Idaho falls. Life is stressful. And we still have things to work on. But life really is great. And I'm excited to keep writing this story. With cam and des forever by my side (hopefully another little one soon as well!) this is kinda scattered. And might not make sense. But I feel like I complain a lot and I've been trying so hard not to. At least as much. I'm looking for the silver linings. Looking for the good in myself, in others. In the bad. In the trials. I learn and grow every day. I just want to be a better person than I was yesterday. I LOVE MT LIFE! And my husband And my son more than they'll ever know. They will never know what they've done for me. And how much I need them and want them. I am one lucky lady. I am So thankful. I am so blessed. Beyond words.

(And look how beautiful my family is)